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MicroBlog 4: ‘You and I’ or ‘you and me’? A simple way to know

Matthew Ward · 11/12/2020 · Leave a Comment

Is it you and I or me and you?

Do you, like me, dread getting that wrong at the wrong moment? Oh the embarrassment! Thankfully, there’s an easy recipe for getting it right. 

And it isn’t using you and I every time. We’ve got to get that misconception out the way. There’s nothing inherently more formal about using I instead of me. The following, for example, is grammatically correct: When he visited, Henry asked how you and I were doing. But the next example is grammatically incorrect: Yesterday, Henry rushed past you and I in the shop.

Here’s the principle that explains why the first example is right and the second one is wrong: A pair of words like ‘you and I’ is grammatically correct when both words can work in the sentence on their own.

Let’s write out the first example from above using you on its own and then I on its own.

When he visited, Henry asked how you were doing. 

When he visited, Henry asked how I was doing.

Both those sentences work perfectly. Therefore, when you and I are paired back up, the sentence will be grammatically spot on:

When he visited, Henry asked how you and I were doing.

Perfect! But the same can’t be said about the second example from above:

Yesterday, Henry rushed past you in the shop.

Yesterday, Henry rushed past I in the shop.

While you works fine, I certainly doesn’t. Let’s try me instead:

Yesterday, Henry rushed past me in the shop.

Therefore, you and me must be the correct pair:

Yesterday, Henry rushed past you and me in the shop.


And it gets better. This principle not only works for I and me but also he and him, and she and her.

He decided to play football. I decided to play football. >> He and I decided to play football.

The ball flew over her. The ball flew over me. >> The ball flew over her and me.

You should go to the cinema. I should go to the cinema. >> You and I should go to the cinema.

The train will bring him home. The train will bring me home. >> The train will bring him and me home.

One more thing before I go … 

I wonder how many people have said the following line: ‘You and me were meant to be in love.’ Hundreds of people? Thousands? They are, of course, all getting their grammar wrong, but I often wonder if that’s really such a bad thing. If I tentatively stuck my neck out into the world of grammar heresy, I’d say that ‘you and me were meant to be in love’ rolls off the tongue with an endearing casualness. And it’s got no issue with clarity, or readability, or anything else … except formal grammar. So, while I hope that my little method for nailing your grammar helps, I just want to suggest that this principle of formal grammar might not be right for every occasion. No doubt, an English professor would love grammar perfection in the essays she marks, just like she’d appreciate well-pressed shirts at a college ball. But I won’t judge you for wearing sweat pants to watch a movie. I just hope I’ve helped you to don your best grammar suit that much more easily whenever you need to.

And for lots more grammar pointers, check out My Big Blog Directory.

But if you’d like some entertainment instead, take a look at Glimpses—my free book of short stories.

Filed Under: Grammar Blogs Tagged With: English grammar, grammar

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“What about milk?” Debbie asked. Mark reached for the milk. “Let me see.” He shook the carton. “There’s only a drop left.” “I’ll add it to the list.”

This paragraph includes several mistakes.

The paragraph starts with Debbie’s dialogue. Then, it moves to Mark’s. Then, it returns to Debbie’s. We need to start new paragraphs with each new speaker.

And we need to make sure that information about Debbie is alongside her dialogue, and information about Mark is placed alongside his dialogue.

When we put this into action we get this:

“What about milk?” Debbie asked.

Mark reached for the milk. “Let me see.” He shook the carton. “There’s only a drop left.”

“I’ll add it to the list.”

Now that’s perfect.

Mark, standing in the kitchen and hearing her call, opened the fridge. “I think,” Debbie continued, “we might be low on cheese.”

This paragraph includes a mistake. The dialogue in the paragraph is Debbie’s. Therefore, information that is primarily about Mark shouldn’t be in the same paragraph.

This is how it should be written:

Mark, standing in the kitchen and hearing her call, opened the fridge.

“I think,” Debbie continued, “we might be low on cheese.”

Mark moved one block of cheddar and checked behind it. “No, we’ve got two blocks.”

This paragraph is perfect. It involves Mark’s dialogue and information about Mark.

“Have we got enough groceries to last the week?” Debbie shouted from the living room.

This paragraph is perfect. It involves Debbie’s dialogue and information about Debbie.


There’s no need to wait for my next post because I’ve got an offer for you.
I’ll edit the punctuation and grammar in any two paragraphs of your writing for free.
You could choose the most awkward ones if you like!
(I’d probably do that if I were you.)
Then, when I return your paragraphs, I’ll include full explanations of every edit so that you can apply them to the rest of your writing. I’d love to help.
For more information and to take up my offer, click here.
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